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Why Is It So Hard to Be the Best People We Can Be?


Our souls come here to learn how to be the most loving, the least fearful and the best people we can be. They don’t come here to make piles of money, build incredible structures or receive awards. It is nice when these things happen but these accomplishments are not our souls’ prime objective.

Recently, I watched a woman be rude to two guests at a hotel where she was working. A few nights later, she sang a song in a talent show all about being kind. When I saw her working the next time, she was being rude once again. I believe she chose the song she did because her conscience was telling her to be more kind. But why do people have such a hard time being the best people they can be?

There is only one reason that people struggle so much with being the best people they can be. They don’t feel good inside. There are three main reasons why people don’t feel good inside!

1.     Their physical health is suffering.  They are:

  • Eating foods that don’t nourish them – Eating dead packaged foods won’t provide the vitamins and minerals a person needs to feel good in their bodies. Not eating enough or not eating enough protein can create challenges as well.
  • Eating foods that don’t agree with them – When I tried a Crispy Cream donut, anxiety set in within five minutes of consumption! And eating foods to which one is sensitive creates a whole range of other challenges.
  • Not exercising enough or in the right way for them – When we get our heart rates up for twenty minutes or more, we release stress and allow more peace to course through our veins.
  • Deficient in key nutrients – Magnesium is one of today’s most common deficiencies; magnesium is the calming mineral. Have you ever heard the expression “No zinc = no think”? Sometimes people can’t think clearly, simply because they are so deficient in zinc.
  • Not getting enough sleep – We need to give ourselves the opportunity to sleep for as long as possible! Parents that wake their children unnecessarily are doing their children and themselves a great disservice. Recently, I have heard of a few individuals who have moved modems or electronic equipment out of their bedrooms and found their sleep problems disappeared!
  • Experiencing physical pain or illness – I remember when our family hamster was sick; it was the only time he was mean to us. I know when I used to get bladder infections, I certainly wasn’t my happy self.

2.    Their emotional health is suffering. They are:

  • Not doing the things that fill them up inside – When we spend time doing what we are passionate about, we feel good inside and this helps us treat others well.  When we spend time with friends or meditating, the same thing happens.  
  • Doing too much for others and not enough for themselves – We are taught that we need to  help others, as much as possible, in order to be the best people we can be but when we do this, it is impossible to be happy. We need to learn to say “No” and eventually feel pleased with ourselves for doing so, as opposed to feeling guilty.
  • Doing too much for themselves and not enough for others – When we make this world a better place, we feel good about ourselves, as long as we keep the balance within ourselves.
  • Not being true to themselves – When we stay in relationships too long or go to a job every day that we dislike, it is impossible to feel good about ourselves. 
  • Not living in integrity – When we lie, steal, cheat or manipulate others, our conscience cannot rest easy and it is extremely difficult to feel happiness.   
  • In emotional pain – This can happen when we are mistreated, when we are unhappy with our past decisions, when someone we loved passed on etc.  
  • Not feeling confident in themselves– Certainly, we all feel this way in our lives. The idea is to feel more confident, more often, the older we get. If this is not happening, we need to look at the other areas discussed in this post.

3.     Their spiritual health is suffering. They are:

  • Not truly believing that everything happens for a reason – I am not sure why so many people say this expression out loud but don’t actually believe it. Truly knowing this provides us with ultimate peace within.
  • Not having faith. Those who are racked with fear or anxiety don’t have faith in a higher power.  When we know we are part of a larger family, where we are loved and protected always, it is easier to be the best people we can be. When we know that this is not our home and that our planet is simply our temporary classroom, everything is easier to assimilate and accept.

If this information helps you understand yourself or others more clearly, I have accomplished my job. If you use this information to do things differently yourself or help others do things differently, I would be absolutely thrilled. I will likely never know how my words have affected you but it sure made me feel good inside, sorting this out in my mind’s eye and sharing it with you 😉

Hi! I’m Meredith Deasley. I am a registered holistic nutritionist, certified life coach and spiritual vitality expert. If you want help being the best person you can be, my books provide much more information on this topic at If you would like to address your individualized needs, please contact me for a one-on-one consultation.      

Meredith Deasley

Certified Life Coach, Registered Holistic Nutritionist, Spiritual Vitality Expert - Published Author, Speaker, and Teacher.


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    • Meredith Deasley on September 25, 2019 at 1:08 pm

      Thank you so much for taking the time to tell me this. It really means a lot to me. I write and write and write, trying to help people and often don’t hear anything from others as to whether I am making a difference for them. I am most appreciative that you wrote me!

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